This letter was written about five years ago.

I know I have written a couple of letters to you. This will be the very last one. I am becoming weary of my search for you. As I look around me as I type this letter, my home is empty. It is empty of your presence. I know as you read this letter you feel the exact same way as I do.

A few things have changed since I wrote my very first letter to you. I have a son. He is a precious young man, growing right in front of my eyes. It seems as if when you blink he grows another inch. You’ll love him to death. But don’t think that this is a package deal. He has all of the love he needs but could always use the love of you as well. If you are genuine he will see that. He is so special and he sees a lot of things. And if he feels your love, he will be happier than he already is.

There have been a couple of people who have written back to me. They have answered to YOUR letter. I know you have wanted to answer me for quite some time but you didn’t know how to formulate the words. Or you just didn’t know I existed. Well I do exist.

You STILL have not taken the time to write back to me. Why do we keep missing each other? Is it because I work seventy hour weeks? Or is it because I am not taking the time to seek you out? Whatever the issue is…we are not together right now. I know once we are with one another it would be heavenly.

I want you to just tell me you want the same things I want. That you want to be with just one person to build a future. That you are tired of the lies and the games. And you want to build a foundation you can be proud of. Someone who will not jump from bed to bed trying to find something that already exists in front of him? Do you want someone who believes that there is a higher power and that He has the answer to our future? Do you want someone who can look you in your eyes and say “…Baby, I am here for you and only you?” Do you want someone who will ride-or-die with you? Who will never question who you are as a person and respect the fact that you are a woman and not a toy?

You tell me you are not for all of the lies and the games. But I still see you resort into listening to all of the bullshit that gets told to you on an everyday basis by men who want to hop in your bed. Yes, you do have the short term fulfillment, but Sweetheart, I don`t want your body. I don`t even want your mind. Your soul is the only thing I want. I want your soul to tell me you are sick and tired of dealing with the drama and you want to spend the rest of your life feeling like there is someone out there who appreciates your inner beauty. Not what is below your waist.

Yeah it`s nice to have someone lay on top of you and grind away at your body as they try to do their best to satisfy themselves. When was the last time you had our soul penetrated? Someone who can probe deep inside of you so that you can feel them all over your body. Someone who at the sound of their voice can make you ooze of pure enjoyment? Someone who will listen to those rough days a woman should never have to deal with. Because I am here to absorb all of the terrible things that have endured. I am telling you to stop running from me.

We all have the fear of rejection. That is the reason why I am not aggressive. I am not going to chase you. I am not here to tell you “no” either. I am here to tell you I will never refuse you. I just want you to have enough courage to type something to me. Anything to let me know you exist.

I am not going to promise you I will be true to you. Because I know you have heard that so many times from men who were out for themselves. I will promise you I will do my best to protect you from the evils that engulf us. You mean the world to me. I wish you would just finally write to me and say you feel the exact same way I do. I will die for you, Sweetheart. You just have to give me the chance to show you.

Don’t confuse this letter with desperation. I am far from that. Do not confuse wanting to be with you with desperation. If you don’t show yourself I will be content with being by myself. Even though I know that isn’t God’s intention. So make this easier for the both of us and let me know you exist.

As you sit and read this, just be genuine. I don`t want to hear “that`s a really nice letter” or “who is the letter to?” or “damn bro that was deep” or how I am a good writer. This letter isNOT for artistic purposes. Don`t you understand this is directed to YOU. Don`t you realize you are looking at my page for a reason? As you think about your life up to this point don`t you think it is about time you finally say to yourself “…I deserve this?”; “I deserve to be loved and cared about.”; “I deserved to be made love to and not be fucked.”; “I deserve to be held and told how much I am loved.” I want you to know I am here and I am still waiting.

Why did you come here?? Whatever it may be you are here now. There is a reason for everything in life, my Love. Don`t you believe that we were destined to be with each other?

As you look at this computer screen you are formulating in your mind as to how you can answer this letter and not put yourself out there. Because if you put yourself out there you will realize that there is no turning back. I am telling you don`t be scared. I am not here to hurt you. I am getting too old to fool around with someone`s heart. Because mine is as tender as yours. I am taking the leap because I know you will eventually write to me.

Now that your emotions have gotten the best of you, don`t be afraid. I am here for you, Sweetheart….no one else but you. Don`t go now. Don`t click on that “X” square at the upper right hand corner of this page. I am crying out to you. You belong in my void. You are the one I have been missing. Don`t let your tears or your emotions be the reason why we cannot be together. Don`t leave me hanging here wondering if you exist. Don`t leave me now. You`ve finally found me. Let me know you were here. Don’t even think about going to the comments section…I don’t want to see it. Don’t let the “obscurity” fool you. Are you going to let me spend another sleepless night without you?? I am waiting for your answer.

Love always

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Tags: future wife, letter

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