This week has been a huge revelation to me. I’ve come to realize this society is very selfish.

Gone are the days of doing things because you want to do them or doing it out of love. Bring in the days of doing things because you either have to do it or you just don’t do it at all because you have another agenda.

Watching the things that are going on in Haiti disturb me. Watching dump trucks dump bodies in landfills and there isn’t a public outcry hurts me to my heart. It’s disturbing to watch a society have little regard to human life. How come people haven’t taken the time to identify who’s who so their families can have a sense of closure? nstead they are left with questions. Wondering if they’ll ever be able to see their loved ones again. Wondering if they are ‘gone’ will they be able to give them a proper place to rest. But watching what’s going on in Haiti is an analogy of our lives.

Instead of taking the time to truly evaluate what’s going on in our lives and our relationships we choose to dump them in a landfill and watch it bloat in hopes of going away. Instead of taking the time and work through the issues that are going on we choose to toss it away and it ends up stanking in a corner.

Haiti offers us so many analogies it’s ridiculous. Maybe if the country would’ve had a proper infrastructure then the massive amount of casualties would’ve been averted. If there wasn’t so much corruption with people getting rich and leaving the poor in the ‘dust’ then their armies would be digging people out of rubble instead of their own citizens. Granted they probably would’ve still needed outside help but it would’ve been a lot less trouble and a lot less of a headache.

In our lives we don’t take the time to put an infrastructure together so when casualties come along outside help would be minimized. We take the time to satisfy our own needs and we don’t work on our own relationships. We find gratification with starting something new when we should be finding gratification with the ones we are with.

Money’s being raised to help out the victims of the tragedy but in retrospect aren’t we just covering up the bigger issue? Aren’t we covering up the fact that there is a government that could care less about the people who inhabit their country? And, yes, we are pouring in money to help, but won’t they have to deal with the same thing again if something similar happens?

Like in our lives. Instead of trying to figure out where there are problems we choose to put a band-aid on it and assume it will go away. Or we will do things so it will go away automatically. It never happens that way because some of us don’t have the balls to face the issues straight up. Because we fear of what the outcome is going to be.

I did my show last night with a heavy heart. Because I knew the words I speak usually fall on negative ears. People don’t want to hear about unconditional love if it isn’t given to them the way THEY want it. The majority of the people on this earth are focused on what satisfies THEM and not what satisfies others. I have thought real seriously of tossing all of this in the air and say ‘fuck it’. Why should I try to show people what love is really all about when all they care about is what is going on in their lives.

This ‘It’s all about ME’ mentality sucks. I understand you have to do things for yourself, I don’t knock that at all. It’s when you do things for yourself and leaving others in the dust. I have a huge issue with that.

If you are offended with what I’m saying right now maybe deep down this message is for you. Maybe you need to look at your selfish ways and realize you are hurting a lot of people in the process of what you do and in the end you may get everything you want. But how would you look in God’s eyes?

I’m in tears because here it is I’ve been trying to save the world and save other people in my life and I can’t save myself. I can’t avert tragedy because there were other people in my life that were more important than my own life.

I am force with an hourly battle trying to figure out if I should just let everything go…blow it up and start over again or try to salvage what it is I am trying to accomplish, not only for me but for the people who surround me.

Of course if I blow everything up I would be no better than the people in Haiti who choose to dump bodies in landfills instead of taking the time to see who they are and where they came from.

Maybe, I should be selfish.

Maybe, I shouldn’t.

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