Dear Dwayne,
Wassup, Mayne. I know you’ve been hearing a lot of pitches to see where you are going to spend the next five to six years of your life. Those guys in NYC and NJ probably promised you the world. I’m making appeal for you to do one thing:
Come home.
There’s a time in a man’s life where he has to build a legacy. Where rings on your fingers are more important than how much cash is in your pocket (imma get back to that in a few). Why not do it in the place where you call home?
No… not Miami, Bro.
Chicago.
I know you and your boy Chris have been hanging out lately. Bring him along with you. In Chicago you have a point guard that knows how to run things. How many of those are there in the league? Go ahead and count on one hand because that’s how many true point guards are out there right now. You faced him. You know D Rose can break some ankles. Your boy, Joakim Noah? Yeah, you got someone who will do all of the dirty work. Grab all of the boards and start the break. More importantly… he got heart. When was the last time you had that surrounding you?
Let’s be real, Bro… you think you’re gonna actually win a championship with Michael Beasley on your squad?
::cricket sounds::
Bron Bron?? Man, don’t worry about him. He’s got it assed backwards. He’s trying to be a global icon billionaire but there’s one huge problem with what he’s trying to do right now.
He doesn’t have any jewelry on his finger.
And you do.
Bron Bron forgot, while he is sitting around all of his “advisory board”, the only way you can become a global icon is if you have rings on your finger. He thinks he can become larger than life without that one important thing.
The ring.
You can do it without him… trust me on that one.
Like that one cat out in LA. I won’t mention his name but he got five of them. Lemme ask you something D Wade, man-to-man. How does a man survive a rape case and is able to do a suspect photo shoot in all white and STILL be called “The Man”??
Here’s the secret.
He’s got RINGS, Bro… a bunch of them. That means he’s got free reign to get away with doing suspect photo shoots and live his life in obscurity even though he got accused of rape. You know what guys end up doing when they don’t have rings?
They become ‘bigger than life’ analysts on TNT doing T-Mobile commercials.
C’mon, Son… you don’t wanna be doing T-Mobile commercials AFTER you retire, do you?
Ok, back to what I was saying.
I’m not one of those fans from the MJ years… you know, the ones who floated to the bandwagon when the Bulls were Three-Peating and floated back to the Lakers bandwagon when the Bulls started losing. I go WAYYYY back. I’m one of those Bulls fans who was around when Reggie Theus was sportin a jheri curl (or was that his natural hair), when Artis Gilmore had that nappy afro with nappy sideburns to match and when Quintin Dailey was a cokehead. Yeah, way back then. So, I’m not a fair weather fan like some people I know. I’m die hard.
Miami? Eh, they’ll understand… eventually. They can’t be THAT mad at you. It’s not like you’re going to NYC. You’ll be coming home.
Oh… and the $30M you’re gonna be leaving on the table when you come home? In the short run, I’m not gonna lie, you’re gonna take a hit but in the long run let me leave you with an equation:
MORE RINGS = MORE ENDORSEMENTS
Come home, Dwayne. Bring your boy Chris with you and Chicago will run the NBA for the next five to six years. You will surpass your idol and it will no longer be MJ’s town… it’ll be all yours.
Oh and Bron Bron?
He’ll figure it out eventually because wherever he ends up and if isn’t on your squad… you’ll be getting yours while he’ll still be trying to chase a dream.
Come home.
By the way, tell Gabby I said wassup.
Much LUV to you, Bro.
Sincerely,
A Laker Hater for life but Always a DIE-HARD Bulls fan
