Originally posted on my FACEBOOK PAGE
Before I begin I wanted to say “hello” to my new friends. Welcome to the World of LUV.
For the first time in a very long time I woke up this morning and I felt indifferent about the day ahead. This Father’s Day had to be the most emotionally charged holiday ever in my life. I had a range of emotions, anger, disappointment, disgust, happy, sad and then optimistic.
I received a lot of emails of encouragement, hate, understanding and misunderstanding yesterday and they trickled to early this morning. I answered every single one of them. I wanted to get my point across so it was understood where I stood. A lot of people got it. Others refused to get it.
Oh, by the way, this is going to be another lengthy post so sit back, relax and enjoy your favorite beverage. You tell your friends and neighbors about this post if you like.
When I put up my INITIAL POST yesterday I sat back and didn’t say a word. When the exchange got heated I still didn’t say anything. When the post got to it’s boiling point I decided to write a post called “Untitled… The Faceless Father”.
From the time I put up my INITIAL POST up to about an hour after I put up “Untitled… The Faceless Father” I watched the number on my friends’ list plummet. People were deleting my page left and right backwards and forward. I saw in amazement when I looked for “friends” that had been on my list for a couple of years delete themselves. I have to admit, it hurt… deeply but then something really remarkable happened.
About an hour after I posted “Untitled… The Faceless Father” I started to receive friends’ requests. One after another, requests started to pour in, some of them three and five at a time. It took me aback. As many people that were deleting me I was receiving four times as many requests. Where was all of these requests coming from? I did some backtracking and it finally hit me. All of these friends’ requests had one thing that was in common with each other.
I looked at their common friends and EVERY SINGLE ONE had at least one friend who “shared” my post with their group of friends.
I logged on their pages. One after another after another after another people were “sharing” my post. The majority of the people that were “sharing” didn’t comment on either of the two posts I posted. As people were falling off of my friends’ list there were people requesting my friendship in droves. As I type this I JUST realized something and it was part of the reason why I woke up indifferent. Hmm… a light bulb moment:
Yesterday, I evolved.
Too bad… the people who moved on and away from LUV won’t see this message.
Maybe… just maybe… it wasn’t meant for them to receive.
The thing about evolution that people seem to misunderstand is one assumes when you evolve you become a totally different person. When in actuality we evolve every single day when we learn something new.Something as simple as taking a different route to work in the morning and discovering how traffic flows, when we order a Cafe Latte instead of a regular cup of Joe, discovering our dog doesn’t like a certain way to be pet, it’s the simple things that allow us to evolve.
When I went off on my rant yesterday I realized this morning that I hit another evolution in my growth.
I realized there was a “Tough LUV” inside of me.
It’s ironic that it came out yesterday because everything I said and HOW I said it was based around one thing.
A father’s love.
I was disgusted yesterday… as any father would have been. I didn’t think people understood the ramifications of their actions.
Yesterday had nothing to do with… this a man’s holiday and this is a woman’s holiday, etc, etc. That type of stuff is admittedly petty and foolish but here is what you are doing when you are putting a woman in a father’s place:
You are subliminally and systematically emasculating men.
Reread that statement a few times and read it until it lodges in your mind.
It is just that simple.
So when I was screaming yesterday about SELFISH ASS, BITTER ASS women out there I wasn’t putting anyone down. I was begging you… pleading with you to stop devaluing a man’s place in society. There were men out there yesterday, FATHERS pleading with you to stop. When they were supposed to be enjoying their day, when they were supposed to be getting uplifting messages, they were getting messages with an addendum attached to it. If you don’t understand how you were doing it let me give you a couple of examples:
“Happy Birthday to you, you and your ole ass.”
“Happy Fathers’ Day to all of those REAL MEN out there and to the sperm donors too.”
One has totally devalued the birthday wish by calling someone old. You would think the LAST thing one would want to be reminded of is how old they are. Now, look at the Fathers’ Day wish.
Do you get the picture?
See, on Mothers’ Day I did not see one wish saying “Happy Mothers’ Day to all of the REAL WOMEN out there and to the egg donors too.” There were messages from men that were uplifting. There were blogs and notes dedicating their days to their wives, their children mothers and to their mothers. I even witnessed a couple of updates of men saying they KNOW they weren’t the best fathers but they thanked their childrens mothers for holding it down. These messages were moving, emotional, deserved, some were even undeserved. What did men receive:
::cricket sounds::
I am addressing the women specifically in because whether you know it or not… your EMOTIONS rule the world. It is your EMOTIONS that dictate what happens in society today. If you come across as bitter, uncaring and unfeeling what happens?
Yesterday happens.
As men we are here to PROTECT women and you are here to NURTURE men. It is part of our DNA, it’s the natural order. When the order is turned around and women try to protect and men try too nurture look what happens:
The world as it stands today happens.
There was something I wrote to someone specifically in a thread that I am going to copy and paste for you. Some of you missed it but this is something you need to know.
“The year my father left Fathers’ Day came a couple of months later. I wished her a Happy Fathers’ Day. I thought like a typical 12-year old should. Mom was holdin it down… playing both roles.
She gave me the coldest stare I EVER saw from her in my life. I thought she was going take off her belt. My mother at the time was a single mother with four children and five months pregnant with her fifth child. All she said was:
“Don’t EVER wish me a Happy Fathers’ Day. There are things that a father shows you and things that a mother shows you. I will NEVER be able to show you the things he can.”
My mother was a STRONG BLACK WOMAN but she didn’t have to announce it to the world. Unfortunately, in this day and age women are screaming loud and proud with an attitude about how strong they are. The majority of MEN when they hear the word STRONG don’t equate it to MENTALLY STRONG but they equate it to DEFENSIVE LINEMAN STRONG. And that’s not attractive to the majority of men.
On Mothers’ Day I barely heard a peep from men. I have over 3500 friends and 40% of them are men. They were giving powerful, uplifting messages to women about being mothers. Where was the uplifting today. Even if there is a man who does everything he can for his child(ren) logged onto Facebook today to get an uplifting message, where did it come from?
It’s sad that I spent the majority of the day defending what I wrote when I should have been thinking about how blessed I am to be a father. I struggle too.
But do women even realize that? Do they even care?
For the deadbeats… they will have their day but why even acknowledge they exist? Why claim a day that’s originally for men? Not parents… not women… but for men? Where is the strength in that STRONG BLACK WOMAN?”
See… it is true, men are attracted to a MENTALLY STRONG woman but a MENTALLY STRONG woman doesn’t say how strong she is. You want to know why? Because she gives off those vibes MENTALLY. When you say how STRONG you are, men equate STRENGTH with masculinity. So, if a man wanted something strong he would be with a man.
::record scratching::
Ok… I might have crossed the line a little bit so let me go back to:
When you say how STRONG you are, men equate STRENGTH with masculinity.
OK, FREEZE THAT STATEMENT!!
Reread that statement three to five times until you get it.
Men compete every single day. Why should they have to compete with a STRONG woman when their natural instinct is to protect them?
Ladies… do you see the dilemma?
Do you see the emasculation?
And through your emotions, ladies, you are allowing it to happen and the world as we know it lacks one thing.
LOVE
And YOU are supposed to be the ones who dish it out.
Before you ask, “What about the men” let me explain something to you.
Men show their love by PROTECTING you… how can they protect something that is STRONG???
What is lost is femininity… women have taken the man’s place and became STRONG where men are supposed to be. Remember STRONG = MASCULINE
Who wants a masculine woman?
Keep in mind I am talking on a heterosexual sense, I will get into the alternative lifestyle at a later time. I am specifically speaking to all of the heterosexual and bisexual women out there.
Once again, who wants a masculine woman?
When you identify yourself as a mother and a father what you have basically done is subliminally shoved the men out of the way and you have made your search for a man tougher.
Why should he want to be with someone masculine?
Ok… so what about the “deadbeats”? Because I know some of you are STILL having a hard time looking at your reflection and you want to pass the blame.
The “deadbeats” were always “deadbeats” but unfortunately you didn’t use your gift of discernment to realize the lies that was spewing out of his mouth. Some “deadbeats” are very good at what they do. They give you lines that make your panties drop immediately but let’s be honest… only a few of those men exist. The reality is… if you look deep inside of yourself… your radar went off about that “deadbeat” and you ignored it.
Ladies… you are in control of everything.
YOU are in control of giving that man the time of day.
YOU are in control of sleeping with him.
YOU are in control of allowing him to tap dat ass raw.
YOU are in control if the condom came off and you weren’t using additional birth control.
YOU are in control after you find out you are pregnant and the decision you make.
YOU are in control of your emotions.
Ladies… once again… you control everything.
Once you GAIN that power then “deadbeats” barely exist.
Do you get the picture?
So… the more you TRY to point the finger at men, all of the decision making comes from:
::drumroll::
YOU
Once again, Ladies… you control everything.
How much longer are you going to continue to emasculate men? How much longer are you going to say subliminal things that don’t uplift men but drag them down? How much longer are you going to continue to scream how strong you are and put yourself in the masculine light? How much longer are you going to stop being negative and put things in the right and natural order and showing LOVE to the world? When are you going to forgive? When are we going to stop blaming each other and get down to the bare bones as to why our relationships are failing?
Ladies, you are waiting for men to STEP UP. Men don’t need to STEP UP. Ladies, you need to STEP DOWN so he can STEP UP and take his rightful place in PROTECTING YOU so you can NURTURE this world with LOVE.
One last time… Ladies, you control everything.
One day this world is going to be taken over by LUV. It’s your turn to “SHARE” this with the world. Are you going to be sitting on the sidelines? Or are you going to join in the evolution? Are you going to continue to pass the blame? Or are you going to FINALLY look in the mirror?
Your comments are wanted and appreciated.
Men are waiting for you… because it’s hard to PROTECT someone who is STRONG.
Be well…
Do you like this post? Luv spends a lot of time in the middle of the night researching and writing about how to put LOVE back in the lives of many. He needs to be able to stay up at night. His favorite is a Venti Caramel Latte with whipped cream.
